SG13: Intro to Bad Luck
by StargateNerd
Summary: The SGC's bad luck team consists of Major Tyler Reece, sharpshooting worrywart, Lt. Kira Feldin, self-proclaimed ninja and otaku, and Muki Huzanaka, an alien teen obsessed with striped sweatshirts and pudding. This is their tale, the tale of SG-13. Discontinued on this site, see profile for more details.
1. Heroes

A/N: Finally! I posted the first chapter of the SG-13 saga! Don't know when I'll post the next chapter, but hopefully soon! This takes place during episodes 17 and 18 in Season 7of SG-1, _Heroes_. Please R&R!!

Disclaimer: I don't own SG-1, or else Daniel would get a hell of a lot more attention than he does! I only own SG-13 (except for Wells), and not even all of them! Only Kira. My two friends who, sadly, don't have an account on , own Muki and Reece.

* * *

"So what's your guess?" asked Major Tyler Reece.

Muki Huzanaka shrugged. "I dunno. What do you think?"

Reece paused for a moment. "Two-headed alien. One head good, the other bad. What do you think, Wells?" he asked Airman Simon Wells, who also shrugged.

"Trees, I guess," the airman said.

"Disqualified for smartassism," Reece gleefully announced.

"Is that even a word?" Lt. Kira Feldin asked, her attention never wavering from the manga she was reading while simultaneously walking and balancing a kunai on the tip of her finger.

"Well, it is in my book. What do you think we'll find on this good ol' planet of P3X-666?"

"Bad luck," the redhead replied flatly. "The designation number is 666, the devil's number, duh!" She closed her book and put it away, the kunai disappearing as well.

"Yeah, but shouldn't Unlucky 13 cancel it out?" suggested Wells.

"Luck is extremely fickle," Muki told him. The alien teen had more than enough experience in that area. "On that note, I predict we'll find an ancient city, or the ruins of one."

"Hey, you're cheating!" Reece protested. "You're looking through the binoculars!" And indeed she was.

Kira perked up, interest piqued. "There's ruins of a city?" she eagerly asked. The 26-year-old was their self-proclaimed ninja, jack-of-all trades on the team, and her current 'hobby' was archaeology.

"Well, come on, let's get there before Feldin blows a gasket," Reece jokingly warned. His 2IC gave him a glare which he responded to with a boyish grin.

As they entered the ruins, Kira let out a little happy squeal. Some things just shouldn't be uttered by certain people. Ever. "It's in Ancient!" she exclaimed, doing her equivalent of a happy dance, another thing which scared the others immensely and was added to the list of things that should also never be done by certain people.

"Well, I'll be," Reece drawled. "OK, Feldin, do your spiel and…do whatever it is you do."

"Um, I'm not exactly the best person to translate this, sir. We'd have to get an archaeologist/ linguist," she replied with a straight face, though her eyes were averted. Reece scrutinized her expression.

"Aha!" he exclaimed. "You just want to see Dr. Jackson, don't you?" He knew something was up. She never called him 'sir' out of habit. It was usually 'Major', or 'Reece', or some derogative in a different language. Tyler knew that it was just a quirk of hers; after all, he was a bit of a maverick himself. He grinned as Kira blushed, while Muki and Wells snickered.

Turning back to 'competent mode', the lieutenant began to examine the ruins while the other three hung around like flypaper. Suddenly, they heard a whirring and clacking sound. A moment later, a drone appeared and started firing at them. "Yaa!" Muki exclaimed, diving for cover just in time to avoid an energy blast. The four of them opened fire on the drone, but the bullets were merely deflected by a force shield.

"Well, that worked well," Reece remarked dryly.

"Maybe if we fire at the wall behind it," Wells suggested.

"Or we could just do this." Feldin produced a kunai out of nowhere and threw it, hitting the drone dead on. It stopped, then dropped to the ground somewhat anti-climactically. "Wow, and I was just aiming randomly!" she said, surprised. Reece shuddered at the thought of his 2IC randomly throwing sharp, pointy objects around. Or any kind of objects, really.

"Well, let's get this lugged back to the SGC. Muki, go and dial the 'gate up, let the folks at home know we've got a present for 'em." The fastest sprinter in the group, Muki took off, making it back to the 'gate in record time, and informing the SGC of the drone.

After it was sent through, SG-13 finally got around to studying the ruins. Well, to be precise, Feldin could study it while the others sulked around, waiting for her to get done with her preliminary study. The alien sun had reached its zenith as Reece and Wells patrolled the perimeter. They were discussing Wells' pregnant wife.

"So it's a boy, hmm?" the major peered at the photo shown to him. Wells nodded. "Well, good luck there, Simon. I'm sure you'll make a great dad. Me? Ah, I can't even imagine being _married_, let alone having kids. Especially after that fiasco on P2R-958." He shuddered at the memory and Simon laughed.

"That was hilarious, them trying to hitch you to Feldin," the airman snickered.

Reece flushed. "Well, how was I supposed to know that in their culture bickering like we do is what their married couples do?"

"You know, most people think you and her are doing it."

"WHAT?? I can't even have a civil conversation with her, let alone live with her! Besides that, she could probably castrate me with one kick!"

"Well, she isn't known as the Ninja of the SGC for nothing," Wells conceded. A rustling sound caught Reece's ear. He signaled for quiet. Suddenly, a Jaffa leapt out from the bushes and shot Wells. As the airman fell with a shout, Reece turned and shot the attacker. He then hurried over to his injured teammate.

"Hey, Simon, are you okay?" he questioned, glancing over him with a cursory inspection. All officers had basic first-aid training, just in case something happened in the field.

"Oh, God, it hurts!" Wells ground out through the pain. Suddenly they heard P-90 fire and staff blasts.

Reece toggled his radio. "Feldin, what's your situation?" He could hear shouting and more weapons fire over it.

"Whaddya think?? A bunch of Jaffa just showed up and we're under fire!" He heard an explosion. "Damn it, Muki, we need to _conserve_ the grenades!" Just then a new voice came over the radio.

"Major Reece, an analysis of the drone you brought back showed that it sent out a message before it was destroyed," General Hammond started.

"Yeah, sir, we kinda figured that. Feldin and Muki are at the ruins under fire and I'm in the woods with Wells. He's been shot in the back, sir." He thought a moment. "Feldin, how many Jaffa can you count?"

"Well, it's kind of hard since I'm being shot at right now, but I'd say about 7 or 8 at least." The lieutenant's voice was tinged with sarcasm.

"Backup and a medic is on the way. Hammond out." A couple minutes later, Muki came stumbling through the brush.

"Geez, don't scare me like that! You know what I get like when I'm nervous!" Reece exclaimed. He looked past the teen. "Where's Feldin? And what are you doing here anyway?"

"Giving them a run for their money, and apparently it's better if _you_ shoot the impolite Jaffa with her instead of me." Muki pouted. Tyler chuckled nervously, then rose quickly to go the way Muki had come, back towards the ruins where Feldin was.

He made it there in record time, and managed to avoid getting shot. "Glad you joined the party," Kira shouted over the noise of gunfire and staff blasts.

"Holy shitake mushrooms!" Reece exclaimed upon seeing the amount of bullet casings on the ground. "How much ammo have you got there??"

Feldin shrugged. "A lot. I'm not a ninja for nothing, you know. Make yourself useful now, will ya?"

For the next few minutes, there was nothing but non-stop firing. If they hadn't been fighting for their lives, Reece probably would've been more amazed at the amount of ammo his 2IC had squirreled away. Then, the back-up Hammond promised came. "I thought you said there were 7 or 8 Jaffa," Colonel O'Neill thundered. "Where did you learn to count?"

"I said there were at _least _7 or 8, and I _was_ being shot at at the time, Colonel," Feldin countered.

"How many pockets have you got anyways?" Tyler asked the redhead.

She shrugged. "Few dozen, probably," she tossed out the number casually.

"A few dozen?" Reece blurted. "How the hell do you sew that many pockets into a set of BDUs?? Your's aren't even standard size, they're smaller!"

Feldin shot him a glare for the 'smaller' comment and icily replied, "Ninja skills."

Reece felt the sudden urge to hit his head against a wall, but Colonel O'Neill had other ideas. "Major, go back to cover Dr. Fraiser! We need another person on the perimeter."

Tyler complied, making a frantic dash for the treeline and trying to avoid being hit by any staff blasts. He took up a post among a cluster of trees not far from where Drs. Fraiser and Jackson were attempting to stabilize Simon.

A sudden flash of movement caught his eye to his left as he saw a Jaffa aiming at the group in the clearing. Icy fury filled his veins and Tyler shot once, the bullet hitting its mark. The Jaffa dropped to the ground.

A few moments and no Jaffa later, the sounds of battle died out. A couple minutes after that, Dr. Fraiser decided that Simon was stable enough to make the trip to the Stargate. Helping to get Wells on a stretcher, the group made their way back in relative safety.

As they neared the 'gate, Reece saw his 2IC leaning on Colonel O'Neill. 'Crap! Feldin too?' He then saw that it was the other way around. O'Neill was being supported by Feldin, the gray-haired man wincing in pain as he hobbled to the gate. The major gave a sigh of relief, then chuckled as he heard their conversation.

"Well, at least this will deter that film fanatic Bregmann from trying to interview me. Hopefully," O'Neill grumbled.

Kira grinned evilly. "Permission to kick his ass verbally and/or physically if he tries, sir?"

O'Neill grunted, hiding a smirk. "Permission granted. Just nothing permanent, okay?"

* * *

Emmett Bregmann tried to enter the infirmary only to be blocked by a nurse. "I'm sorry, Mr. Bregmann, but you can't come in here."

"Yeah, yeah, confidentiality, yadda yadda," the documentary film man said dismissively. "But I heard there were some injuries."

Janet heard the disturbance from where she was treating Airman Wells. The petite doctor frowned. "You want me to knock him out for you?" Kira Feldin asked from where she and her team were sitting, keeping Wells company. Fortunately, the airman's injuries had only _looked_ bad. In reality, he would only need a few weeks of rest. "I could say that the light hit his eyes in such a way that I thought he was a Goa'uld."

The 'innocent' look on the lieutenant's face made Janet laugh. "I don't think that'll be necessary. I would, however, appreciate if you would," she thought a bit for the right word, "_escort_ him out."

Kira grinned hitting her right palm with her fist. "That I can do. Watch and learn, Muki, how to get rid of an annoying man, whether he be someone who's trying to hit on you or someone just getting on your nerves."

"Hai!" the alien teen chirped, watching the redhead as she converted throwing Bregmann out of the infirmary into a lesson for her younger 'sister.' Reece sat back and smirked. It was fun to watch his 2IC blow a gasket, so long as it wasn't at him.

"Excuse me," Kira said with forced cheerfulness as she approached the filmmaker. "Let me borrow him for a sec," she told the nurse, who threw her a grateful nod. Gripping the man's arm, she led him from the infirmary.

"Hey, wait, I wanted to talk to-" Bregmann was cut off as Kira yanked him out the door. "Waah!" he cried in alarm. He was dragged along through the hallway, still protesting. The lieutenant deposited him on his feet next to the two airmen who were supposed to help him with the documentary.

"OK, listen to me," Feldin snapped, the forced cheerfulness gone. "Mr. Bregmann, _no one _here likes you, much less Colonel O'Neill, who I know you're trying to get an interview with." She rolled her eyes. "Hell, half the base probably knows. So let me give you this word of warning. If you want to live, leave well enough alone." The cheerful smile was back. "OK, now have a nice day!" With that, Feldin walked away, presumably back to the infirmary.

"Um, did she just curse us?" One of the airmen asked nervously.

"Sir, SG-13, _is _known for their infamous bad luck," the other informed Bregmann, equally as off-balance. "Sir?" he asked, seeing the documentary maker bow his head.

"All right, that's it! I'm going to get that interview with O'Neill, no matter what!" Bregmann declared, determination increased tenfold.

* * *

'No matter what' turned out to be Janet throwing them out of the infirmary (not literally, of course), Feldin sneakily placing smoke bombs in their pockets (don't even _ask_), Muki laughing at the afore-mentioned smoke bombs, and Reece accidentally dumping pudding on Bregmann's head (_that_ was actually an accident).

By the time the filmmaker left the SGC, he'd gotten about 5 seconds of footage of O'Neill actually cooperating with him, many slides of just smoke --'damn smoke bombs,' Bregmann thought-- the interviews he had with the rest of SG-1 and other various personnel, and an episode of '_The Simpsons._' Frankly, he didn't want to _know _how the latter got on there.

The entire base celebrated the filmmaker's departure, and if Colonel O'Neill noticed that one of his VHS tapes was missing, well…it was all for the greater good.


	2. The Purple Pandemic

A/N: Chapter 2 is up now! This probably takes place during the ep Resurrection. Simon Wells is out on medical leave, and SG-13 is too wacky for a fourth person to intrude XD This chapter is a little shorter, but please bear with me! Was co-written with Schrodinger, my sometimes partner-in-crime for this series. Next chapter is where things start to get serious, though.

* * *

SG-13 waited at the end of the ramp as the Stargate was dialed, ready for their mission to P3X-932. When the chevrons lit up and the event horizon was established, the 3 man team stepped through the big blue puddle.

The first thing that was immediately noticeable was that everything had a purple tint to it. The vegetation were varying shades of purple, while the sky was the only thing not purple. It was blue.

"Holy shenanigans," Reece muttered under his breath, while his 2IC said something incoherently in a different language. Muki, on the other hand, started to frolic around in the grass and plucking big handfuls of it.

"It's purple, it's purple, I looove purple!" Muki sang as she started to roll in the grass.

"Muki, don't roll in the purple alien grass," Feldin moaned. As she approached the rolling alien teen, the singular blue rays of a zat rang out, hitting the redhead. Before her teammates could react, they, too, were shot.

Lt. Feldin awoke with a splitting headache. As she sat up, her bangs fell in her face. She stared in amazement at the purple locks that dangled in front of her eyes. "Nani?" she whispered in disbelief. Twisting around, Kira grabbed her braid that she customarily kept her hair in. Yup, it was purple. "This is just bloody perfect!" she fumed, perfectly imitating Reece's slight British accent.

"Okay, Feldin, where's the fire, and holy shi…take mushrooms (are good for you)!" Reece exclaimed as he sat up and saw his 2IC's purple hair. Muki realized the new color of her own hair and started singing, "Purple, purple, my hair is purple!" She was the only one having fun with this; Tyler and Feldin were too busy arguing with each other.

"What did you do??" the self-proclaimed ninja yelled.

"Why do you think _I_ did it?" Tyler retorted.

"I don't know, but you're _always_ causing trouble and-"

"Um, excuse me," an old voice said from behind them. The three spun around to see an old man come into the room. He, too, had purple hair.

"Uh, hi," stuttered Reece. "My name is Major Tyler Reece. This is Lt. Kira Feldin and Muki Huzanaka. We're from the planet Earth."

"Well, we welcome you, strangers," the old man smiled and bowed.

"Well, if you welcome us, then why did you zat us?" Feldin asked with a touch of sarcasm.

"Zat?" the old man looked confused.

"The thingies that shoot the blue ray thingies that kinda knocked us out?" Muki helpfully supplied.

"Oh, you mean the Romnas," the old man said cheerfully.

"Uh, sure. Then why did you…'Romna' us?" Reece asked.

"I am sorry. You must forgive our young people. They saw you come through the Ring of the Gods and were frightened of you," informed the old man. "They decided to take no chances. You see, many years ago we were oppressed by a tyrant who called himself our god. His name was Apophis."

"Apophis??" Reece yelped. "I thought we killed that guy!"

"Did you happen to hear the 'many years ago' part, baka?" hissed Feldin.

"OK, but why is everything purple? And more importantly, how did our hair turn purple?" Reece asked, ignoring the insult from his 2IC.

"Well, before Apophis abandoned our planet, he did many experiments, one of which resulted in turning the plant life purple. Over time, our people's hair also turned purple, and our skin became tinged," the old man morosely recounted.

"Is it dangerous?" Feldin asked.

"No, it just turns everything purple."

"Well," Reece said, standing up, "if you don't mind, we are supposed to check in now, but we'll check back with you folks later, okay?"

"Yes, of course. I will guide you back to the Ring."

The old man made good on his promise, and roughly 15 minutes later, they were at the Stargate. Muki dialed up the gate, all the while humming her little 'My Hair Is Purple' ditty.

"Major Reece, do you have anyth-" Hammond trailed off in mid-sentence. "Son, what happened to your hair?"

"Well, sir, apparently there's a sort of organism on this planet that turns things purple," Tyler reported rather sheepishly. "I don't believe it's permanent- is it?" He turned to the old man, who shrugged.

"Our people have lived here all their lives, and so far as I know, none who came through the Ring of the Gods were ever adversely affected." Reece looked through the MALP's camera at General Hammond, raising one eyebrow in a very Teal'c-like fashion.

"Do you believe there is anything there that may be of interest?" Hammond inquired.

"No, sir, not unless we want to revolutionize the hair care industry," Reece replied. He heard Feldin give a little snort behind him.

"Well, unless you believe there is anything there that may help us, report back," the Texan ordered.

"Yes, sir," SG-13's CO replied. As the bright blue of the wormhole dissipated, he turned to the others. "Well, kids, I guess we'll be heading on home now."

"Finally," Feldin huffed. Then she turned to the old man, frowning slightly. "Do you have our packs somewhere?"

"You mean the satchels you arrived with? Yes, I shall go retrieve them." With that, he left down the path.

"Should we follow him, or…" Reece trailed off as his teammates shrugged.

A few moments later the old man returned with their packs. "I wish you good fortune on your future travels," he said, giving a little bow. "Perhaps some day you will return here?"

"Yeah, maybe," Tyler replied. "Muki, dial us up, would you?" The wild child proceeded to do so, and after sending their IDC through, they stepped through the Stargate, back to Cheyenne Mountain, and Earth.


	3. Rising Part 1

"It's freezing down here!" Reece complained, rubbing his hands together.

"Well, we are in Antarctica," Muki replied sagely, a smile on her face as she played with her purple fleece, which trailed just a bit over her hands.

"I don't understand how you can even _look_ at that color, let alone wear it," the major said, shooting Muki a dubious look.

"Well, it's not like it was our fault or anything that everyone's hair turned purple," Kira commented, her voice neutral. "Besides, Dr. Fraiser found an antidote within the week anyway."

Reece stared at her. "What's up with you, Feldin? You hate the cold at least ten times _more_ than both of us put together, but you've barely said anything since we got here!" The redhead gave no reply, simply looked away pointedly.

"A ninja does not complain, does not show weakness," Feldin recited tonelessly.

"She's just upset that Dr. Jackson's off the base's bachelor list now," Muki imparted to Tyler, who grinned.

"Ah, so that's why! Well, Feldin, it's probably about time you moved on, you know. I mean, you practically _stalked_ the guy, and-" He cut off as a kunai flew past him, barely grazing his cheek. It 'twanged,' firmly stuck in the wall behind him.

Kira turned, her pale blue-grey eyes icy. "I thought we agreed never to speak of that again," she said quietly. "And for your information, I did not stalk him." Striding past her CO, she pulled the knife out of the wall, and then twirled it. "I merely happened to see Dr. Jackson drink coffee many times. There _is_ such a thing as coincidence, after all." The weapon then disappeared somewhere on her person. "Now come on, didn't Muki say Dr. Beckett wanted to see us?"

Tyler shivered as Kira brushed past him; her infamous dark side making the air seem even colder. "What did we do to get on the Atlantis expedition anyways?" he muttered under his breath. _Well, it's not exactly like we have anything better to do in the first place; the only people I really see or talk to on a regular basis are Feldin and Muki_, thought the major. _Still, I have the feeling that General O'Neill had something to do with this. Geez, just 'cause the guy's hair gets turned purple _on accident_, he has to take it out on us? I didn't even _know_ he hated purple!_

"Oi! Earth to a-pa-shousa, Earth to a-pa-shousa!(1)" Reece was jarred out of his thoughts by the dulcet tones of his 2IC, who was currently scowling at the moment. "Are you just going to stand there till I dye your hair rainbow?"

"You know, it's very unbecoming to threaten a superior officer, Feldin," he huffed, hurrying to catch up to his two female teammates. "You could get court-martialed for it someday."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," the redhead shrugged, looking at him through half-closed eyes.

"Hey, I think I found the infirmary!" Muki interrupted their banter.

The team entered the room, which was decorated rather sparsely. Aside from the medical equipment, there were a few cots, but that was the extent. At a desk in the corner sat a man wearing a blue fleece, and slight stubble decorating his chin. At the sound of the three entering the room, he looked up.

"Ah! Ye must here for your blood test results," Dr. Carson Beckett announced, his voice permeated with a Scottish brogue.

"Yup, that we are, Doc. Well, I assume we are, since all Muki told us was that you wanted to see us." Tyler sent her a look, his eyebrow raised.

"You know me! Things go in one ear and out the other!" the girl defended herself, almost, but not-quite pouting.

"Well, in any case, that _is_ why ye are supposed to be here," Beckett interrupted. He rifled through some files in the piles of papers on his desk. "Ah! Here they are," he said, plucking a couple of papers from one of the overly tall piles. Looking the results over, he smiled, then looked at Kira. "Congratulations, Lieutenant Feldin, you have the active ATA gene."

"Great! Why am I supposed to be excited again?" she asked, a slightly confused expression falling over her face. Reece sighed sufferingly.

"Don't pay her any mind; she's always like this," he told Beckett, who nodded, then turned back to the paper.

"As for you, Major, you do have the gene, but it's recessive, and Ms. Huzanaka does not have it at all. However, I am working on a therapy that will allow people without the gene to gain it through artificial means."

"Carson!" A man wearing an orange fleece marched purposefully into the room, barely even glancing at SG-13 as he brushed past them. "I need you to try the control chair."

"Rodney, I've already told ye, I'm not going to sit in that bloody thing," the Scot protested. "Can't you get someone else to do it?"

"I've already tried everyone else," Rodney said. "You are the only one who hasn't even so much as sat in it yet!"

"That is not true!" Carson seized what Rodney just said like a lifeline. "Lieutenant Feldin here has just arrived, and she has the ATA gene."

Kira looked up as if she was suddenly realizing where she was. "Wait, what? You're offering me as a pig?" she questioned incredulously.

"A what?" McKay asked, baffled.

"Um, Feldin, I think you mean guinea pig?" Reece confirmed.

The redhead snapped her fingers, pointing at him. "Yes! That's the English term, a guinea pig, and I can't believe you're throwing me to the wolves!" she broke into a rant at Carson.

"I think he strikes me more as a wolverine, neechan," Muki input. They all stared at her, trying to absorb the teen's random comment.

"Not even going to _ask_ what that was about," the scientist muttered under his breath, "but you-" he pointed at Kira, "are going to sit in the control chair, as well as you, Carson!" The doctor grumbled something in Gaelic, most likely insulting the Canadian.

"And just why to I have to sit in this chair thingy?" the lieutenant inquired while raising an eyebrow, her voice deceptively calm.

"Because, since you three are on the expedition, you're going to have to get acquainted with Ancient technology sooner or later, and it's better sooner than later. Besides, we haven't determined the strength of some people's ATA genes, and it's easiest to find it by interfacing with Ancient tech." The scientist finished his explanation, a smug 'Ha-you-can't-get-out-of-this' look on his face.

"Fine, but a word of caution," Feldin warned. "You annoy me anymore after I try out your precious chair, and I will dye your hair the same color as your jacket." And with that ominous statement, she left the infirmary.

Rodney and Carson stared the way she'd gone. "W-would she really do that?" the scientist asked nervously.

"Yeah, she would," Tyler nodded. "Feldin doesn't make threats lightly."

"If it makes you feel any better, I think you would look nice with orange hair," Muki smiled. Somehow that didn't make Rodney feel very reassured.

* * *

General Jack O'Neill (two 'l's, as he constantly reminded everyone), was not a happy camper. Oh, no, he wasn't. He was currently in a helicopter with an almost enthusiastic (for the Air Force) pilot. One simply wasn't enthusiastic if one was an Air Force pilot.

It also didn't help that he was in Antarctica, the one continent that he'd hoped to never set foot on again, seeing as how he'd nearly died both times he'd been there. As statistics go, that was a 100% rate on the chances he was going to die. When he told that to Daniel, though, the archaeologist had merely replied, "Yeah, sure, Jack. I gotta go, Sam's got coffee."

And wasn't his best friend such the lucky person, to actually _have_ someone to make him coffee? Even though Jack was a general now, he didn't get all the perks that he thought he'd get. What was the fun of being a general if you had to make your own coffee?

* * *

"I break things like this!" Carson had protested as Rodney manhandled him to the control chair.

"My track record with things millions of years old isn't too good, either," Kira put in as she reluctantly trailed after the two.

"Feldin, what track record?" Reece asked, rather confused.

"Well, I count you in that category," she replied without so much as a backwards glance.

"Hey!" the major protested, offended. "I'm only about a year and a half older than you! How do I fit into 'millions of years'?" She merely hummed knowingly. Muki, for no apparent reason, smirked, a sight which scared him immensely for reasons unknown.

"This chair has survived the past few millennia intact, I'm certain it will survive both of you," McKay replied rather caustically. "Now, Carson, sit down, close your eyes, and concentrate."

Reluctantly, the doctor did so, sitting in the chair for a moment with his eyes closed before he opened them and said, "You see? Nothing," as he made to stand again.

"Look, this time, just try to imagine an image of where we are in the solar system," the scientist pushed Carson back into the chair. Sighing, the Scot did so.

"I think I feel something," he said after a moment. "It could be lunch-related."

SG-13 snickered while Rodney merely looked annoyed and said, "Shut up. Just concentrate, okay?"

Carson did exactly that. For a short time it seemed like nothing was going to happen, but then the head of the chair lit up, the whole contraption plus him leaned back, and all hell broke loose.

* * *

_Oh, yes, _someone_ is going to answer to me_, thought O'Neill as Major 'I-think-Antarctica's-kind-of-_nice_' did some loopy maneuvers to keep their helicopter from being blown out of the sky by a rogue drone. _I save the Earth from being screwed over, what, seven times now, I think? And _this_ is the thanks I get??_ Oh, yes, there would be hell to pay for whoever was messing with one Jonathon 'Jack' Patrick O'Neill (with _two_ 'l's, don't forget).

* * *

"Okay, Carson, concentrate on shutting the weapon down before it hurts someone," Dr. Elizabeth Weir counseled the doctor, who was fretting over what to do.

As he tried valiantly to turn the drone off, it didn't seem to have any effect, as it came in over the radio that General O'Neill's helicopter was still being pursued.

Unable to stay still any longer, Kira growled, "Screw this," slapped her hand on the arm of the chair over Carson's, and thought very violently, '_**OFF!**_'

The entire outpost plunged into semi-darkness as all the Ancient tech and equipment suddenly shut down.

"Um, oops?" the redhead's voice held a nervous tone that Reece had never heard before. Was it bad that some part of him inside was chortling gleefully at this evidence his 2IC was not always a sadistic self-proclaimed ninja with height issues? "It was an accident!" she continued in a somewhat pleading tone, something he'd never heard beforehand either. _Well, you learn something new everyday_, Tyler thought.

"An accident? How do you shut down an entire _outpost_ by _accident_??" McKay seethed. Tyler's internal maniacal cackling was stifled as a foot slammed down on his. Hard.

"Ow! Crimaniddly, Feldin, that was _my_ foot!" he cried, hopping up and down as he held the offended appendage. "McKay's on the other side of the chair if you want to play the bodily torture game!"

Even in the darkness, Tyler could make out the scientist's face paling visibly at the implications of his statement. _Ha, take that!_ he thought, a little undeservedly vicious.

"Here, I'll turn it back on!" the lieutenant said quickly. However, when the lights came on, Feldin was gone.

"Damn ninja," Reece muttered as he rubbed his sore foot, ignoring the strange glances the others, minus Muki, gave him. Speaking of which, where did she go? "Little ninja-in-training hellion," he added the description of his other teammate, again ignoring the looks given him by the (more or less) sane members of the expedition.

* * *

Said ninja and ninja-in-training hellion were currently fast tracking away from that particular part of the outpost as fast as they could.

_Great, just great, _the redhead thought to herself. _Barely the first couple of days at the outpost, and not only have I managed to make a gigantic baka_(2)_ out of myself, but these are people I'm going to have to put up with for an indefinite amount of time since apparently General O'Neill has screwed us over just 'cause his hair accidentally got turned purple!_ And she was still convinced that particular incident was entirely Reece's fault. Honestly, the man attracted trouble like flies to rotting meat!

"Neechan, are you okay?" Muki asked, interrupting Kira's fuming stew. "You've got kind of a scary look on your face. Scary like you're going to cause permanent bodily harm scary." And somehow her adopted imouto(3) had managed to say that with a completely straight face.

"Muki," Kira told her, sighing, "one day you're going to be one hell of a poker player."

* * *

Finally, the day had come for the Atlantis expedition to take what could be a one-way trip to the Pegasus Galaxy, and what was hopefully the City of the Ancients.

"Hey, Muki, Feldin, you suited up and ready to go?" Reece asked his teammates.

"Yup yup yup!" the alien teen grinned, excited to go on this journey with what she considered to be her family.

"Ready as one can be when one's about to go on a dangerous mission to another galaxy, maybe with no way back," Feldin drawled, smirking.

"Yeah, yeah, drown the rest of us in your pessimistic ninja ways, will ya?" Reece replied, resisting the urge to stick his tongue out at her because, dammit, he was older and supposed to be more mature here!

"You got your 'medicine,' a-pa-shousa?" his 2IC inquired, her voice all sugary and sweet. Gritting his teeth, he resolved not to rise to the bait. Could he help it if energy drinks calmed him down some? No, he couldn't, it was just a part of nature! So with great dignity, Tyler huffed and pointedly ignored the redhead.

Everyone gathered in the gate room as Dr. Weir gave an inspiring speech about how the people going on this mission were some of the best, brightest, bravest, etc. As she said that this was the last chance for anyone to withdraw their involvement, she was met with silence. With a proud smile, the brunette said, "Begin the dialing sequence."

As the outer ring began to turn and the chevrons started to lock, Reece heard Colonel Sumner, the military head, say to a man he hadn't seen before, "Let me make myself clear, Major. You are not here by my choice."

"I'm sure you'll warm up to me once you get to know me, sir," the messy-haired major replied with a slight smirk.

"Just as long as you remember who's giving the orders," Sumner replied.

As he turned to go join a group of his Marines, the major said, "That would be Dr. Weir, right?"

Reece decided that he liked this guy as he and Sumner held an impromptu staring contest, a smirk plastered on his face. Reece went up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. "Major Tyler Reece," he introduced himself.

"Major John Sheppard," Sheppard replied.

"Ah, so you're the uppity second-in-command," Tyler smirked.

"Technically, we _are_ the same rank," Sheppard said.

"But you're the senior officer," Tyler replied.

"True," Sheppard admitted. He gestured to the Stargate. "Have you ever had…previous experience with this?"

"Two whole years with my own team," Reece informed him, pointing a thumb at Muki and Feldin. The former gave Sheppard a grin, while the latter gave a little nod. The messy-haired major wisely decided not to comment on the fact the rest of Reece's team was female.

Just then, the gate tech announced, "Chevron eight, locked!" and the wormhole established itself with the usual 'kawoosh' of the vortex. SG-13 and Sheppard both gave themselves a last check over on their immediate equipment as Sumner started to bark out orders.

"Hold it, Colonel!" Weir ordered as she came back into the gate room, slinging her pack on. "We go through together," she told him stubbornly.

Sumner gave her a glance, then nodded slightly. "Fair enough," he said.

The first group of Marines, plus Dr. Weir, stepped through the gate, the soldiers' guns raised in precaution. Sheppard and a young Marine went up the ramp to the event horizon, standing guard. After a moment, Sumner's report came back through the radio: "All clear. It looks good."

"Expedition team, move out," O'Neill told the Atlantis crew.

"What's it feel like?" Sheppard asked the lieutenant as, already, more people were coming up the ramp after them.

"Hurts like hell, sir," the young man informed him seriously. His somber statement was ruined after a moment, though, as he grinned and gave a small, joyous shout as he propelled himself through the wormhole.

"Hey, there's nothing to it," Reece informed Sheppard as SG-13 followed after them, calmly stepping through.

"Yeah. You would hardly know you're being demolecularized into millions of tiny, itty-bitty pieces," Kira added nonchalantly, though her lips were twisted into a dangerous smirk.

"It's fun," Muki said simply as she followed her teammates.

Sheppard took a breath in preparation. _How did I get myself into this one?_ he asked himself briefly before he was whisked away through the whirlwind ride that was the Stargate.

One the other side, they entered into a dark room that was lit only by the thin beams of light coming from atop the P-90's targeting scopes. "Teams One and Two, secure the immediate area! Everyone else, find an open space and park it until instructed otherwise," Sumner ordered. The soldiers that were coming through the gate acquiesced to their CO's orders, spreading out to make sure there were no immediate threats to the group's safety.

As people began to explore the immediate area, lights came on and doors opened of their own volition, startling the expedition. "Who's doing that?" Elizabeth wondered.

"Security teams, any alien contact?" Sumner inquired over the radio.

"Negative, sir."

"Team four, negative, Colonel."

"Huh. The Ancients had saran-wrap?" Tyler wondered as he examined what seemed to be some sort of mechanical pillar that was wrapped in something looking quite similar to the Earth product.

"Apparently so," Kira replied, her sharp gaze taking in the entire room and committing it to memory.

"It's so much different from the Goa'uld technology," Muki observed, gazing at the objects around her in fascination. "It's like the designs are…graceful, almost, no unnecessary decorations or anything."

Down below, the last people came through the Stargate. Weir took her radio and said into it, "General O'Neill? Atlantis Base offers you greetings from the Pegasus Galaxy. You may cut power to the gate now." Just before the blue portal disappeared, a bottle of champagne was rolled through from the other side.

Never ones to stay still for long, SG-13 soon started to explore. "Geez, aren't there any windows in this place?" Kira muttered, glancing around.

"Well, it could be this place is underground, like the outpost in Antarctica," Muki offered a rare moment of sane advice.

"You could be right there, Muki," Reece agreed. The door to the room they were about to go into opened automatically, something which was really giving all three the willies. "Well, Feldin, you got your window," the major said in a soft, awed tone as he saw said window.

His teammates came up behind him, shock entering their expressions.

"Chikuso(4)," the self-proclaimed ninja murmured.

"Well, it'd be a good bet this is Atlantis," Muki stated.

The other two nodded as they stared out the window at the rest of the city underneath the waves.

* * *

"Hopefully that shield is pretty strong," Reece grumbled. " Death by drowning and/or suffocation is not very high on my 'To-do' list."

"Nor anyone else's, I'm sure," his 2IC drawled.

Suddenly, Sumner's voice came over the radio. "All security teams, fall back to the gate room."

"Hey, this is not my fault, so don't even _try _pinning it on me," Reece warned.

"You're the main catalyst for Murphy's Law, no offense," Feldin replied as they hurried back to the gate room.

As McKay dialed the gate to a random planet from the database, Sumner picked a group of military personnel, including Sheppard and SG-13, to accompany him to the planet to scout it for possible ZPMs.

As they stepped through the Stargate, Reece hoped that they'd be able to find something to help the city, because even as short a time as they'd been there, the city, Atlantis, felt like home.

* * *

Translations:

(1) Major Airhead

(2) idiot

(3) little/younger sister

(4) damn

A/N: Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up next weekend. Sorry if the ending's kinda crappy, I'm sick right now, so my writing is kinda suffering. Don't forget to review!


	4. That's It I'm Done

Okay, has seriously gone WAY too far.

My sister - you all know Mel, I rant about her enough - is really getting into the Hetalia fandom and she's written some great stories, including a HetaOni one over 20 chapters long and a 2Ptalia story that I've been betaing for her.

Both of those stories have been deleted because of the language _in the stories_. Not the summaries. The stories themselves.

Now, as her sister I'm probably biased in thinking she hasn't done anything wrong, but both of those stories were listed and fit under T ratings, and I have read the guidelines about ten or twelve times now - there is NOTHING in there about language; just that summaries/titles of stories need to be K.

Sorry , you've been great and all, but aside from keeping up with my favorite fanfics on there, I'm done. I was pissed off enough when you deleted my Star Trek/Detective Conan crossover for an improper summary that you could've just messaged me about so I could've fixed it, but you fucked with my sister, and that's just the last straw for me.

I apologize to all of you who've been so great in continuing to read my stories even when I don't/haven't updated for ages, and to those of you who are totally awesome and review for each chapter and aren't afraid to give me con. crit. I will continue to write, and you can find me on both AO3 and yourfanfiction . com.

At first it was just about the porn on , but now it's moved way past that. The admins are being outright abusive with their power now, and they certainly don't deserve the motto of "Unleash Your Imagination".


End file.
